Spiritual Desert

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I have to be honest, I have been in a spiritual drought. Or maybe wandering out in the desert without an ounce of water. This is a place where I don’t really feel connected to God. I wonder at times if He is even there. Things that normally would move the Holy Spirit within me would leave me feeling abandoned. It took everything within me to sit down and read my bible and even go to church. At times I found excuses not to go just because I couldn’t feel anything. Even music that once moved me to tears or praise left me with nothing. I felt like I was emotionless and hardened.
You see I just had a season where God was so present all the time. I am realizing now that was a gift and it honestly was what I needed or I would have never made it. I was in a place of desperation. And God carried me through literally. The Word would spring off the page- I couldn’t get enough of it. I reveled in the revelation of who He truly was and who I was in Him. I had such a constant connection with Him. The world was colored in Him. Everything pointed me back to His glorious presence. One I really believe He desires for us all. But what I am struggling to figure out is what caused this current drought?
Was it because I moved away from Him? Did I become distracted and try to fill my life with something else? Did He move away from me?
Maybe it wasn’t anything of the sort. Maybe I had reached a place where God decided to allow me not to feel His presence for a period of time. Why would He do that? To refine my faith. It is easy to believe in something when you are aware of it. But it is not easy when you aren’t. Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” So I have to be assured that I have confidence in what I do not see. Confident even when I feel like He isn’t there. James 1:2-4 says “consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Trials come in all shapes and sizes. Perhaps my feelings of God being absent from my life is a trial that He is using to test my faith so that I can become mature in my faith lacking nothing. In a strange way that is exciting to me when I look at it like that. I desire to lack nothing in my faith and to be continually refined by Him.
But it took some time to get to place where I even wanted to discover what caused this spiritual drought. God used a bible study and a revelation that gave me an “ah ha” moment. But I’ll share that another day.
Happy Saturday 🙂

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2 responses »

    • Believe me girl- I think when you are in a new place it becomes easy to get in a rut unless you are just automatically plugged into a community 😦 but the best thing is that God meets us even there

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